Why Your Team Sucks 2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.

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Are you in? Sign up for the For The Win daily email newsletter for the top stories every day. Yes! Send me the For The Win Daily Newsletter. Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the.

Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Tampa Bay Bucs. Your 2. 01. 6 record: 9- 7. In those seven losses, the Bucs gave up nearly five touchdowns a game. Derek Carr hung 5. Raiders committed 2. The Rams hung 3. 7 on them somehow.

This is a rough estimate, but 9. Tavon Austin’s total receiving yards last year came against the Bucs. But please keep telling me that this is an up- and- coming defense. This team still starts Chris Conte. During real games, no less! Your coach: Dirk Koetter.

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Well, I am sure there are plenty of people that think my playcalling stinks… But I’ve been doing it for 3. I don’t think I’m going to forget how.” Well actually, Dirk, in your NFL career your teams have had a winning percentage below . So it’s not that you’ve forgotten how to call plays, but rather the fact that you never learned how to call them to begin with. By the way, the Bucs were this season’s designated Hard Knocks victim.

Let’s see what kind of EXCLUSIVE ACCESS we’ve been given into Koetter and his coaching methods. Christ. Honestly, it’s like they just draw slogans out of a hat every year. Your quarterback: Congratulations, Jameis Winston! Your sexual battery case was finally dismissed after reaching an undisclosed settlement with your accuser! Finally, you can put this whole ordeal behind you. What a hardship it must have been. For YOU. Now Jameis is free to be a “leader” who “absorbs the playbook like a sponge” and “routinely commits turnovers that belong in silent comedies”: Every time I gotta read some horseshit about Jameis’s uncommon maturity and growth as a passer, it’s like people completely forget that, at least once a game, he will take the snap and proceed to re- enact every Nordberg scene from The Naked Gun.

By the way, Jameis has been the showcase star of this season’s Hard Knocks. Here he is killing a cockroach while it’s mating: Technically, that’s ALSO sexual assault. And here he is acting like Taylor Swift in the front row of an award show: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Jameis Winston may not be the most genuine (or mature) fellow in the world.

Fresh off beating the rap, he had the balls to lecture a group of schoolgirls about being silent, polite, and gentle. Fuck his phony ass with a pirate flag. Thankfully, the Bucs imported a MENTOR to help him become 5. That’s right. It’s Harvard Man, in the flesh! I could be dead in the ground 5.

I swear that Ryan Fitzpatrick could still be holding down an NFL roster spot for no reason whatsoever. This team now has not one, but TWO Harvard grads on the roster. I swooooon at the potential for elevated sideline discourse. Oh, nothing coach. Just sipping some Gatorade and discussing the impact on South China Sea trade routes should a preemptive strike in North Korea take place [FARTS]” What’s new that sucks: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU CUT THE KICKER. Yes, after trading up to draft Roberto Aguayo in the second round, the Bucs had to cut him and replace him with Nick Folk…Priceless. That’s what you get for FSU- ifying half the roster.

No one should ever let this team forget about the Aguayo draft bust. This was already one of the worst picks in draft history before they released the poor bastard. They should put a monument to the trade next to the stadium bathroom. GM Jason Licht should have to walk around with a sandwich board that says I TOOK A KICKER IN THE SECOND ROUND LIKE A MORON all day long.“I’m owning up to it by releasing him. It was a bold move and it didn’t work out. I don’t know what else to say.” “Bold” isn’t the word I’d use there, amigo.

Elsewhere on the roster, De. Sean Jackson is here!

On paper, the arrival of Jackson and absolute stud TE OJ Howard (drafted to replace the drunk driver they originally had at that slot) make the Bucs one of the best young passing teams in football. But, as someone who has watched De. Sean Jackson over the years, I can assure you that every accidental fumble Winston makes is one that Jackson can make deliberately. Doug Martin was suspended for the first four games for Adderall, and will be suspended four more after he beats my ass for screaming MUSCLE HAMSTER at him from a nearby balcony. Mike Evans drops passes as swiftly as he drops visible Anthem protests. Jon Gruden is getting inducted into the team’s ring of honor this season, even though Bill Callahan’s playsheet should have been inducted way before him. One of the linemen dined and dashed on a five- figure club tab.

What has always sucked: Miko Grimes claimed that she deliberately got her husband cut in Miami so he could come to Tampa. You played yourself, lady. Only an idiot would scheme to leave the glistening shores of South Beach to go to live in the middle of a Dog the Bounty Hunter fancon. She must have thought she could avoid the tax man there. I may be biased here because a jury of Tampa tattoo artists bankrupted this site’s former company, but for real, Fuck Tampa. Tampa is the Arizona of Florida.

Tampa is a seething mass of divorcees and wannabe pirates deliberately living in the cheesiest possible area. The Bucs stadium isn’t even the most popular building on its block (that honor goes to Mons Venus). There’s a reason that Jon Gruden has a completely unironic love of Hooters.

That’s 1. 00 percent Tampa right there. I’m surprised they don’t blare Hoobastank from air raid signals all day long. I took my family to Tampa for Spring Break once. Seagulls tried to eat our dinner every night and some lady brought an entire hi- fi system to the pool so she could play Bon Jovi. Tampa is the worst. It’s the only city in America aiming to REDUCE mass transit.

Nazis are everywhere. Local sports teams had to give money just to get a Confederate statue taken down and it still hasn’t been taken down. A local middle school tried to sell kids a $1. The Scientologists are the most normal people there. The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air Season 4 Episode 26.

Fuck Tampa eternally. Watch The Great Escape Online. VIVA GAWKER, MOTHERFUCKER.

What might not suck: They’re good enough on offense to score 4. Did you know? HEAR IT FROM BUCS FANS! Matthew: Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo.

Anton: There is nothing worse than waiting for decades for your team to get a potentially elite QB and then have him be an alleged rapist. Who tells groups of young girls they need to shut up and let the men lead. Alex: Fuck Josh Freeman. Joseph: In two season Jameis will be the Bucs all=time leader in passing yards, surpassing Vinny fucking Testaverde. Jeb Lund: The problem with Why Your Team Sucks is that, every year, I strive to think of something uniquely bad about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, some suck- property that grounds the team athletically and geographically in a characteristic awfulness that other people can point to and say, “I get why thisteam blows.”But I’m starting to think that’s misguided, like writing a negative review of a flat, sad Big Mac. It’s a mediocrity expected, universal and unenlightening, as dissatisfying as you want it to be, assuming you need to buy it at all.

Apart from the pirate ship, Raymond James Stadium is unlovely in the way most stadiums are unlovely. It’s not exiled to some featureless exurban hinterland, but it’s not in a downtown core accessible to walking or convenient public transportation. Before games, the neighborhood food carts and stalls are all pleasantly above average; afterward, the hassle of finding a way to get to something else to do is what you’d expect.

Are the owners soulless profiteers using the NFL revenue stream to underwrite more exciting pursuits while relying on die- hard, underserved suckers? Yes. Does this distinguish them from most NFL owners?

No. A Bucs fan gets grifted like everybody else.

Watch Dogs 2 Modders Hate The Game's Final Patch. Watch Expiration Online on this page. Watch Dogs 2 got its final patch today, which makes impossible to use mods while online if you’re playing on PC.

The game’s publisher, Ubisoft, says that this is to ensure fair online play, but the game’s small modding community is very frustrated. The 1. 1. 7 patch wasn’t announced as a modding blocker. The features rolled out in it include tweaks to the recently- added four- player party mode, as well as bug fixes for co- op. Shortly after it was released, some modders noticed and began to complain. If Watch Dogs 2 had been the blockbuster Ubisoft hoped it to be, that complaint might be loud, but instead it manifests as less noticeable venting on places like the increasingly barren Watch Dogs 2 subreddit.

There, loyalists who stuck with the game expressed their anger.“As of this morning, I found out that the latest update on PC killed modding,” Deebz__, an active and vocal Watch Dogs 2 modder, posted on the subreddit this morning. Any positivity from my original message has been rescinded. Instead, I’ll just leave you with the list of a few issues in this utter mess of a game that you have failed to fix.” He listed a half dozen issues, including players on the opposite team being unmarked or marked as “friendly” during multiplayer modes and the game outright crashing when you shoot people. The Watch Dogs 2 modding community is small. The modding community of WD2 in particular consists of like 1.

Kotaku over reddit. According to Steam Spy, the game currently reaches a maximum of about 1,0. Modders use the game to to fix graphical issues as well as a few bugs. Deebz__’s favorite mod allows players to use the camera mode while in the helicopter. Deebz__ says he helped “pave the way” for modding Watch Dogs 2 and remembers multiplayer for the original Watch Dogs as being a “lawless wasteland,” with most players using mods to cheat.

He says that he and his fellow modders use their mods ethically. Only a few of us know how to mod the game properly, and we’ve all agreed to use our knowledge ethically,” he told Kotaku over reddit direct messages. We only play online with mods that do not give us an advantage, and we never released anything that could be used to cheat.”According to those players, modding was a means to having a smoother gaming experience. Ubisoft, however, says modding has also at times hurt online play.“Though we appreciate that many in our community are very careful about not using mods while being online, this isn’t true of all players,” Kris Young, producer on Watch Dogs 2, told Kotaku over email. In order to create a healthy and fair environment for all our players, we had to fix this problem. You can now still enjoy your favorite mods while playing offline and disabling the [Easy Anti- Cheat] system (though we can’t offer official support for this) or enjoy a more fair online experience when playing online with your friends.”Even knowing they can still use mods, this isn’t an acceptable solution for members of the modding community.

The online modes are too much of a part of the game,” Deebz__ said. Watch Dogs 2, like its predecessor, has passive online modes where other players can invade your game, as well as Pv. P multiplayer, all set in the game’s shared open world. Considering how few of us there are who actually do mod the game, and the fact that we do not release or even use any mods that give unfair advantages online, there really was no reason for this change in my opinion.”Deebz__ was an obvious person to talk to for coverage of Ubisoft’s mod- blocking patch, because Deebz__ has been visible in discussions about this game.

He is the kind of outspoken gamer who uses the tools available to him to tell developers how they can improve their game. When he noticed a problem with the escape key being bound to too many functions in the game, he didn’t just complain about it on reddit, he typed out changes to the game’s code that he said would solve the issue and posted them for Ubi reps who monitor the game’s subreddit to see.“A Ubisoft representative told me that they would not fix this issue because it would allow players to skip scenes in the story that they were not supposed to skip, breaking the game in some cases,” he told Kotaku. He insists that his solution was totally fine.

I can say this with absolute certainty, because I actually played through the entire story a second time after using this fix, and skipped just about everything I could in the process.”Deebz__’s problem now may be that Ubisoft says they can’t distinguish between mods that help players cheat and mods that don’t. This solution was a compromise they had to make, Young told Kotaku. It’s a topic that has been on our minds since it was raised by community members who visited the studio well before the game launched,” Young said. We’ve come back to it several times since, but with the nature of our seamless technology, it’s a tradeoff we had to make to maintain healthy and fair online play.”.